Locked Inside

Life has its way with everyone, it fucks your chances at being happy and brings you to that point where you no longer wish to continue it. Well Cheers to this fucking beautiful life eh? Cheers! So here’s to the night i ran away from home, here’s to the night i cried so hard that my eyes bled out, the night  my folks went ballistic mad at each other and their marriage was hanging from a string, the very night i ran a blade through my wrists wishing i could end this misery once for all and the night when i called you and you didn’t pick up your phone.  It’s easy to say “I ll be here for you whenever you need me, or maybe call me anytime you need me”. How about that time huh, was i just calling you out of curiosity after 10 months of silence or was i just looking for a laugh. When you make a promise or  give a word to someone , you water their plant of hope that they can rely on you at their time of need, even if you couldn’t help maybe you could have just stood by me and i could have had a shoulder to cry on. Cause sometimes you know, having a cry helps a lot better then the problem’s solution itself. It gives your heart the chance to lighten its weight , budding from all the heap full of fucking aches. Was i asking too much of you? Or was it not what you promised earlier. Things happen , people keep secrets, they fake their happiness and sometimes they leash out. But you have to understand that there might be some problem going on with them, the might be just failing at school,being abused/bullied or having insecurity issues, troubles with family  or having problem with adjusting themselves or finding out who they are for real.  People make mistakes all the time, they are no God, and it is what that is expected from them right? Was i too perfect for you that you couldn’t handle some troubled waters caused by me or was it your ego that couldn’t handle a little imperfection of mine. So what i leashed out , called you words, threw you out, wasn’t i worth fighting for? Was it too much to ask that you should stand up for me and say that it was going to be okay for me and for us. I guess i never was worth that trouble huh? Sometimes i wonder that it was all a dream , the happiness i felt with you, those memories, they were all an illusion nothing more than that. Because people who love you , don’t give up on you that easily.  You think you know but you don’t even know half of the story. People don’t have the suicidal tendency just like that, they walk through shit and  everyone pushes them more into that mess that they find this route the easiest to go over. But hey don’t worry i might have that tendency, but i do also have a heart , broken but in working condition, that is stupid enough to still wonder that its too early to give up on you, that you are much more worth it and that maybe i just need to drag myself a bit further towards the sunlight. Stupid right? i know. But you see , i have this undying faith in you that even i can’t extinguish it myself. This faith is what that keeps me going and that is what that brought me home that night and i hope that this is what that leads me out if this dark aching tunnel on my life’s highway. Finger’s Crossed!

An impulsive and impatient personality who has the most bizarre ideas related to this world and beyond. I sketch , paint and write to burn my thoughts, this is the only thing i feel peace at.I am an avid dreamer in the day, an aspiring novelist by the night, hopeless romantic & a certified bookworm. Books provide me an escape from this world , aside from that i am a boxer, who loves to knock out teeth for anger release. And yeah football is my passion!

Leave a Response