There are days in your life ,when you literally feellike as if your insides go numb ,there is no feeling of happiness, excitement or think this all is strange ,cause almost your whole life you wanted the pain to go away,you wanted to get rid of this excruciating ache that electrified every happiness of whole life is filled with these memories that cant make you look let past every story ,memory ,glimpse is filtered through this wall of what to do when its not there,you kind of miss it,its like your life has no more purpose left,cause deep in your mind you always thought that you deserved all of this and its how your life was meant to be. You know that pain is your favorite word in your limited vocabulary ,cause you know deep inside that how much you have inflicted on others and how much you deserve this. It was something similar to my life,i have dwelled my whole life in pain,and now moments come when its not there,its makes me crazy that why its not there,am i being paranoid , am i mad ,isn’t this what i wanted? But you know what there is this satisfaction in pain ,it gives you exactly what you deserve,its built on equality and justice and it trains you to be stronger. And the pain brought you by your loved ones and your love life is the best remedy for your heart.