Living Vicariously – A Dream
Have you ever felt the need to escape the cliches you are surrounded with? like, have you ever wanted to be unrecognized and not be appointed as an individual related to someone. Not being called as someone’s sister or daughter or girlfriend. Just free of the responsibilities that are imposed with that certain title. Can’t you be what your heart wants you to be, can’t you choose things that you want without even thinking about the consequences? Sometimes I yearn for that invisibleness, that No title thing. Being recognized as no one, sometimes it’s that thing that I crave the most. To be able to do what comes into my mind without my actions tainting the people around me.
To run away sometimes feels like the only answer. You know take my stuff, get all the cashout and just disappear somewhere where no one knows my existence. To just live somewhere on a mountain, traveling from land to land. Setting up a canvas and getting my paints out by some lake and just losing myself into all that. I mean who cares about all that success and degrees or money if that’s not even making you happy. I wanna play music in the street, write poetry and novels, do art on random walls, and just live vicariously. Not having a permanent home, just make my stays at random places that feels like home.` Meeting strangers, conversing with them but never having any deeper attachment that can cause them any hurt from my actions. Just keeping to myself.
I know it’s a long shot thinking and dreaming about such stuff. But hey dreaming isn’t banned, yet? All these passions are rooted deep inside this vessel that has the potential to be so much more but is restrained by the relations surrounding it. I mean it would be embarrassing for the parents to see their star child singing in the street or playing violin for the public, right? Ah, what a sight that would be. So just for the sake of their happiness, you crucify your happiness. You pick up your fake crown, plaster a courageous smile on your face, sling your laptop bag and pull your coat together to head your way to studying to be the poster child everyone expects you to be.