You & Him
You and him , two completely apart people but yet same connection , myself. I thought i would never be able to think about someone new , someone beside yourself but they say never say never. And just like that he entered my life like a raging storm. With winds so fast and strong that they tried to open the gates of my heart. I was standing there with an umberallela of your name that maybe that would help the wind from reaching me but it wasn’t. Those winds blew me away into his arms. Arms that were foreign for me and a touch that i was not comfortable with but he held me so strong, that for a moment it felt like i was suppose to be there , like i fit into that place but then i reminded myself of you and that hope of us and untangled myself from his arms.
Why am i like this? Always pining for the ungettable and unachievable. You loved me with all your heart and i couldn’t do the same and when you stopped, i fell in love with you. Now the circle is continuing and he loves me but i don’t. Should i wait again for him to fall out and me to fall in? Why can’t i accept the terms when they are not in my hand , why can’t i just agree to someone’s else desire?
He talks about being in love with my flaws, my imperfections and us getting together and starting a life but why do i picture this with you while i humm and nod to him? When he takes my hand in his and interwines our fingers with his , why do i feel like i am cheating on you ? Or when he sings for me ,why do i have to play your recordings later on just to wash off that effect?
You were my past and he is my future. You were my soulmate and he wants to be my soulmate. You were young and he is older. You were boyish and he is manly. You were cute and he is handsome. Everything about you two are at contrast accept the choice you both made , me.
He says that i should move on and only think about him and forget you completely. How can i forget something that is not in my control? How can i erase the most beautiful part of my life like that? Even though he is promising the beauty ahead. Any sane person would opt for a permanent stable and perfect partner like him but why do i want that imperfect love with you?
It’s hard to hold on without hearing back or seeing any sort of hint from you. I don’t know if i can hold on anymore but my heart still beats for you. How long? I don’t know maybe he can stop that beat and make it ring on his tune for him , he does say he knows everything. Maybe his magic might work.