Going Underwater

A question surrounds in my mind eveytime: Will i ever get a chance to be in love? What i consider love in some moments turn out to be something else in other ones. What hurts the most is that life gives me a glimpse of what i can have and then takes it away.

Why don’t i get a shot at something normal. And finally when i meet someone that could be the one for me, why can’t i have a normal chance to get close to them. Why do they have to be a million miles away. You keep telling your self it’s gonna be okay , the day you ll see them or be with them it’s all gonna be worth it. But is that ever gonna happen? Things pop up delaying everything and it all seems like a dream to me. It feels like i will have to wait all my life. I see people going hand in hand , smiling at each other, traveling together and being just contented by seeing their other half while its just me and you barely hanging on my weak line of thread with few reassuring words.

Is it to much to ask for you and i to be like that? Why does my ungrateful heart asks for more? Is this really love or just two broken people finding affection in each others comfort words?

Why is it considered okay even if we dont talk a week? With you busy with your stuff and me struggling with my hobbies. Two equally ambitious persons that have time for everything except for each other. And when we do its just those little interactions that we hold dear to our heart till that next interaction.

I want those late night walks , those going to movies together , those little dinner dates or dancing in the rain. Will we ever get to do that?

When i wanted to talk to you and when i just need to listen your voice why is it so hard to connect with you? I know its not your fault and i understand this but sometimes i dont want to , sometimes i want to be not that understanding. Someimes i just need what the heart wants. If it is in the start then what will happen moving on? Is it going to be like this? How much more patience do i need to finally have this? Maybe it will forver be like this or maybe not… i am just tired of waiting for it, tired of holding on.

An impulsive and impatient personality who has the most bizarre ideas related to this world and beyond. I sketch , paint and write to burn my thoughts, this is the only thing i feel peace at.I am an avid dreamer in the day, an aspiring novelist by the night, hopeless romantic & a certified bookworm. Books provide me an escape from this world , aside from that i am a boxer, who loves to knock out teeth for anger release. And yeah football is my passion!

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